On Giftedness and feeling Socially Mystified
On giftedness and dreaming a dream– last night I dreamed of….
A 9 yr old child sits in bed, holding his arms around his knees, head resting on kneecaps.. Mom fussing around the room, picking up things.. plumping pillows… ‘Mum, I had sooooo much fun with Jamesy and Colon at scouts today.. We were building a field shelter, and they know so much about stars.. just like me.. when we go camping this weekend, we’re going to look for as many constellations as we can find.. I wish I was in their class.. ‘
‘Hmm’ says mum.. absent-mindedly… ‘and what class is that…’ ‘Well, I don’t really know mum, but I know they are both 13, they know the things I know… and THEY LIKE THEM.. ‘
Mum sits down on bed.. puts hand on sons.. ‘Don’t your school mates like these things too?’ Child thinks for a minute.. ‘Well, Actually, they do not, in fact they have no idea.. they think I’m odd.. a baby.. ‘
I wonder why that is, do you think you might have an idea?…’ says Mum.. ‘Well,’ say child ‘actually, I do try to help them understand, I know they won’t get ‘Planetary Nebulae and Interstellar backgrounds’.. I know, we have talked about that.. but.. when I try to use simpler words and explain.. hmm like when I say ‘a field of little stars’.. all they do is say baby baby.. and start singing twinkle twinkle little star..’ Mum.. why DO they do that?? I don’t understand… ‘
Childs mother has just had a meeting with the school in which it has been suggested that child is immature for their age, and perhaps needs more socialization with own age group to learn how to ‘fit’ in…
One example and of the common mismatch between the mind and social perception of giftedness..
These kinds of scenarios are enacted every day for many gifted children and adults.. the trying to make themselves understood/accepted by those who live around them.. in an effort to fit in.. and,… overcompensating in that effort.. being made to feel inadequate or worse.. stupid..
The question is: Are they really immature, and would more time spent with age peers be a solution?
Are they just misplaced intellectually, and would they benefit more/be happiest emotionally and socially by spending more time with their intellectual and common interest peers?
At least in our experience the best times in our children’s lives, and best activities were the ones that encompassed many different age/interest groups, such as scouts, or music and such… where kids could meet and find their own levels.. a pity that our school systems are so insistent on ‘age to age’ programming. I don’t know, but it does seem to me to be a system that may have been designed rather more for crowd control, rather than actual sharing and learning..
How much better it would be to have a school where age was not a barrier, and the students fluctuated between needs and skill/abilityl classes at will… dream on.. !!!
ps.. here are one or two to links to read on the suject, for your own info….