On Giftedness and the Good Enough Parent

 

 

Well,  it is true.. there are many parenting styles, and equally many parent temperments as are there kid temperments…which is best?

The thing is that it often is dictated by the hand one is delt in life, and the temperments of the family members one lives with.. and what they might respond to..

Some thrive on controlled orderly environments, others may embrace chaos as the most creative avenue..

Some of us have the where withall to provide major out of this world experiences,  such as space camps and CTY  experiances for our kids.. and some find vision such simple things as raindrops and puddles and vegetable oil in water..

Thing is, bottom line… as parents..we do the best we can with what we’ve got at the time we have got it for those we love….

Nothing is better than that… learn to forgive yourself, as you are.. as good enough a parent as you can be…  tears will happen.. however in my book, and in reality…

If they are not on drugs, or died of them, if they are not alchoholics.. if they are (within relative reason for their age, and developmental stage) relatively happy and enjoying SOME parts of life… have some (or a ) friend…

Your ok parents.. so far anyways.. ;-D

On Giftedness and Teachers Fears…

 

 

They don’t care….  They say they will do things, and then it doesn’t happen… they are defensive… They say their hands are tied…

Well, folks, yes, to a point, however… step back a minute, maybe, just maybe they do care,  they hoped to go on that training course that did not happen, or they genuinely thought they might convince the powers that be- that more time and resources should be plugged into these areas.. they ‘thought’ they would be able to do something… or….they are overworked, and have tried so hard to be good teachers, and feel overwhelmed with the enormity of trying to provide for so many different constellations of need.. they just protect themselves by being defensive… Or.. they are genuinely constrained by the overriding policies or principals ethos within a school…

This does not make them bad people..they are scared teachers… ones who want so badly to help your children, but are ‘stuck’.   Thorny situations..

 

 

They may never have encountered a ‘gifted’ child.. had training in this area, or if they have had/do.. may not have support from those who decide policy within your school..

Sometimes this can also be soul destroying for teachers..  I know many who have taken this feeling of inadequately providing fortheir students feelings home and had nightmares about it… it is not always in their hands..

Understanding this can go a long way in these situations.. and a hand held out.. it can mean volumes in how your child may be percieved and or provided for…. or how far along the ‘extra mile’… a teacher advocate may go.. in the interest of your kid…

 

 

 

So.. do not forget to thank a teacher, tell them you understand they are overworked, tell them.. and then offer a helping hand if they need it.. you might be surprised what could happen.. ;-D

 

 

On Giftedness and Parenting Potential

On Giftedness and Parenting Potential.

On Giftedness and Parenting Potential

 

 

I am a Professional.  I am also a Parent.. this is.a.great.leveler…  parenting kids with high potential is tricky business at times and can leave you feeling like those quivering jello cups.. (the green ones, or the two tone one.. brownish on the bottom with cream on topones…)..yes quivering…

And sometimes, it is hard to know what to do..  we can stand at crossroads, reading ten different signs and really really, we have no idea which to choose.  It is at these times where we need to let our intuition as parents kick in and take the road that ‘feels’ the most right.. sometimes it is the only direction we may have left to follow..

And do not forget to forgive yourself, as, as my Mom (a wiseone who parented six (yes…six) gifted and 2E kids into adulthood used to tellme..  ‘You make the best decsions you can AT THE TIME, and then let it go… hope for the best and forgive yourself if things don’t quite workout as you had hoped, there is always anothe day…  ‘…  however usually, these choices of the heart can often, in the long run, turn out to be the right ones..

On Giftedness and Carrying the Batton of Constance….

 

 

 

Constance…this is a name, actually it is my mothers name.. and suited her well. It means to be continual..even… always there… shaking off the bad, welcoming the good.. continuing to continue… no matter what..seeing things through to the end..and she was, well although aged, and fragile for the trials she’s gone through, still is so to this day..

Well, I was thinking about this name this evening, which is by the way.. also a word..to be ‘Constant’ .. all those things that define this word.. is what we as a population, the ‘Gifted’ population need to aspire to … and we do have many  folk and organisations, who, dispite their differences,  we can  admire look up to…. who have been ‘constant’ over the many years in their support..   to many to name all here.

Some, like the WCGTC, ECHA and the NAGC (USA) and NAGC (UK) have long histories, likewise other’s such as the Gifted Development Centre,  the Belin-Blank Centre, John Hopkins CTY and Renzuli in Conneticuit.  There are also many people, as individuals, within and without these organisations that have also remained ‘Constant’ to the cause, supported these kids, never giving up… Linda Silverman, James Gallager,   Joan Freeman, Dianne Montgomery, Franz Monks,  to name a very very few and so very very many others…

What is heartening to me is to see this ‘Constance’, despite differences,  continuing in folk like Deborah Mersino, of Inngeniosus, Lisa Conrad of Gifted Parenting Support, Elvira Davenport of Elle-Gifted, Mary St. George of  Mary’s Gifted Contacts in NZ,  Roya Klinger -Bavaria Gifted,  JoFrei in Ausssie.. and Tim of  GiftedPhoenix reknown.. the list could go on… and that is a good thing!!

Here’s hoping this ‘Constance’ will continue forward and hold firm with young future scholars, and teachers who will, carry the batton forward…

 

On Giftedness and Creativity- Lost and Found

Sometimes, as teachers and/or parents, in our busy worlds we can forget how much of an influence we may have on those precious souls in our care..  the emergence of a rare talent/creativity in any form, can often be tentative, and fragile and unsure.. often a product of  incredible sensitivity. It can be  most painfully squashed, and take years if  ever, to  have the confidence to appear again… often only if  met by another who understands..

“Unforgotten”

(by me!!- Leslie S. Graves)

You asked us

to draw a beautiful memory

We each had

Lovely coloured crayons

supplied

a blank paper and eyes

opened wide

We were only four, some of us

were even five

with tumbling fingers

scribbling hard, each

Hoping our picture

would please teacher

Ah..but I was one who considered

before I scribbled

and instead of dreamy shapes

I drew a train

complete with whistles, coal and flame

on tracks,

It’s engineer waved a cane

and shouted

‘ALL ABOARD’

You were working at

your desk

Did not notice, pick mine

out from  the rest

At the end of the day

during circle time

you asked us to identify

and take home our

drawing

Mine came up, next  to last

two hands came up

You who failed to see

my hand that worked so

diligently

Gave it not to me

but to another child

And then you wondered

why I cried and

would not love the

Circle left on that

last sheet as if it were my own

I would never draw again

Until many years had flown

Until a kind man

In another school saw a

doodle in a book

With passion

His eyes wide open

His heart sincere and true

Placed a pencil back into

my hand

and said.. welcome home

'Hello World'- Drawing by Leslie S. Graves- 2011

On Giftedness and the Beaufort Wind Scale

Image from European Wind Storms (Wikipeadia)

This is Ireland.  We have alot of wind. Especially in the fall and winter.  In fact today.   As I sit here in the warm yellow glow of a kitchen with a dark window paine facing the night.  I am listening to those winds and being reminded of giftedness.

Why you may ask?  Well some gifted kids are so facscinated by certain subjects that they must learn all they can about them before they move on to another subject.  This was the experience I had with one of my children when very young.  It was maps and geography, than trains, than chess, than the guiness book of records… you get the picture… for a brief period however it was wind, and more precicely the Beaufort Wind Scale that was the flavour of the month..

My memories lead me to many nights/early mornings when I would be woken up by a small hand.. not to chase the boogies from  under the bed… but to be led solomly downstairs by the hand and out the front door to stand in various windstorms, bathrobes whiping all around, while a small little someone ‘tested’ what strength the wind was blowing….

Such is one sweet memory of life with a gifted little one.. ;-D

On Giftedness and Being Stuck…

Ever have days/weeks or other times where you have an important thing(s) to do or address and  just seem to be stuck.. not being able to move either forward or backward and just nothing gets done?  I think it may have something to do with a combination between perfectionism and imposter syndrome.  Whatever it is, it’s not a nice feeling, and leaves one drained, stressed out and feeling guilty.. and no good…

At this moment I have great empathy for our gifted students (my own at times included) who agonise over a blank sheet of paper which may be due in the morning… getting past the starting hurdle, out the gate, is not always easy for some of us.. or as a teacher long ago described me.. in frustration…. “Your like one of those Ketchup bottles… piling so many ideas and good stuff up inside that the neck is just too narrow to let them all out on paper… ,   banging on the bottom of it to get some of it out doesn’t always work….sometimes you need let go of a little fear,  shake it up, let a little air in, order to let it flow easier.. “

Hmm..  Well, recently this has been happening to me again, so taking a breath and shaking those ideas around,  I am hoping that maybe if I try to write something on my blog every day, perhaps I shall loosen up enought to get on with what I need to do…   This small post does not merit much attention on it’s own, however, it is a start for me and one step forward instead of back… let’s see where it might lead… hmm  indeed… teehee;-D